lesson learned.

Sigh... at times like i often wonder if i had gone over-boasting with my happy moments that when a thunderstorm hit me; i felt its as if i was burned to the ground.

I know to some who have read my status & all must be wondering what have i been up to other than being married about 1 month ago. Let me tell u straight & honestly here.

Never take anything for granted. never ever think you got your heart safe even there's a prince charming at your door or a knight shining armor saving you from time to time. no. there is nobody out there whom is gona save you but yourself. there is noone (except god) who is compassionate enough to think of others than themselves. honestly speaking; there is nobody except you.

Everyone out there has ulterior motive. given good intentions vs evil agenda. everything has its reasons. and yes we may never knew their reasons or we may had the chance to learn upon them; but still. trust no one but your instinct. 

i know i may sound cyncial for a newly-wed. but this is the truth about human nature. we all are selfsih beings always going after our wants, needs & desires. even that very person at the other side of our beds.

i thought i was safe until reality shook me and made me realise there is always people out there who are never happy when you are happy. envy, jealousy & vengence all part of their ploys. and who become the victim? we.. the innocent naive ones.

and nobody is ever truthful unless to god.

i felt so betrayed &; very much hurting with what im currently facing. so much mixed emotions & so much pain in this heart. this agony im having? nobody knows. even him.

im not sure how im gona get over this situation or how will we ever surpass this. 

"but every single hour i keep repeating to myself that i will make it & i'm strong to face this god given challenge to me. they say there is hikmah behind everything (silver lining). i believe in Allah. i believe there's a good reason why i found out now. I believe there's good reason why this is happening to me."

but... underneath it all i cant help it being so disappointed. although secretly im very grateful i found out early; but the intentions were clear cut & i felt like this whole story & this heartbreak agony is killing my heart slowly. Infact so many times today i felt like crying behind all these disguise.

So lesson learned; never trust anyone 100%. its fine to give reasonable of doubt. trust but verify.

and nobody think like we do. we are all different & unique beings. so learn to not expect much of others & pursue the best of us all the time.

sigh, so in my case. im just like any other girl with a broken heart to mend. 

P/s: ya we're still married but its gona be one long road to drive.