Ask the Right Questions to Find Your Perfect Partner

By Debbie Ford

When it comes to relationships, how many times have you bought the cover and not the book? Do you have a history of attracting the same type of person, only to wind up at the same undeniable conclusion that he or she is not the one? It may be time to reconsider the questions you ask yourself when evaluating whether a potential partner is right for you.


Many people who are in the market for a long-term relationship are unknowingly shopping for a great package. Almost reflexively, we judge people on the basis of their looks, their financial status or their accomplishments. But as we all know, dating someone who is beautiful but unemployed, or smart but not ambitious, or successful but a workaholic, does not fulfill our romantic desires. By asking a few of the Right Questions, we can broaden our horizons and open ourselves up to meeting people who nourish us, inspire us and share our vision for the future.

Here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself before you go out on your next date:"Does being with this person add to my life force or do they rob me of my energy?"

A relationship that will sustain us in the long haul should leave us feeling strong and vibrant, not insecure and exhausted. By choosing to surround ourselves with people who feed our life force, we increase our chances of long-term fulfillment.

"Will dating this person bring me long-term fulfillment or will it bring me short-term gratification?"

Many of us fall prey to going out with people who only fulfill a need in the moment. In order to experience long-term fulfillment, we must create and stand in our vision for the future. Only when we have a clear vision of what we are looking for in a partner can we evaluate whether the person we just met is consistent with that vision.

Right Questions such as these will challenge you to look deeply, to clarify and declare what is truly important to you, and to make choices each day that bring you closer to what you want. By asking them and listening to the answers you receive, you can be sure that the next "book" you pick up is one that you'll want to read over and over again..