Before taking your relationship to the next level.. here i reckon these Questions to ask yourselves before you jump...
Before.....you get engaged.
- What are his long term values & goals (in terms of career, wealth, relationships, family & health)? Are they compatible with mine? Do i expect any of these goals to change?
- How much do i expect him to spend on a ring (relative to his income)? Does he know this?
- What is the first thing I'll be excited about when he proposes: the ring, or our future together?
- Does being with him make me truly happy - happier than i was before - or am i just relieved to have a fiance?
- Am i doing this because it feels right, or is it because i have an internal timeline?
- Do i feel pressure because my girlfriends are engaged, i'm getting older, or my family is pushing me?
- Does he take responsibility and know how to say "sorry", or does he give me the cold shoulder?
- What kind of friends - and friendships - does he have?
- Does he put his mates ahead of our relationship?
- Are we moving at the same pace, or is one of us rushing the other to take this next step?
- When i have pangs for old boyfriends, are they fleeting, or do they leave me longing?
- Has he ever flirted with other women while we've been together? If so, am i convinced he now understands appropriate boundaries?
- Do we have the same ideas about where to live?
- Are our values (family, religion, politics) in sync? Can he tolerate my relatives, and can i deal with his?
- Are either of us cut off from, or over-involved with, our families?
- Have we discussed our family health histories?
- Have we discussed whether or not we want kids, how many, and how we want to raise them?
- Are our career objectives in sync? Does one of us want to stay at home?
- Would he be cool with my desire to work - or not - after kids?
- Would i be OK with being the breadwinner? would he?
- Do i know how he'll feel if i decide to keep my last name?
- Do i feel comfortable "marrying" into his social circle of friends?
- If one of his parents turned on me, would he stand up for me or would i have to fight for myself?
- What's his idea of the right way to discipline children?
- Do we have similar definitions of what quality leisure time is, and how our holidays should be spent
- Will i be incurring any of his debts, or will he incurring any of mine?
- Do we plan on having separate bank accounts, or creating one that we will both share
- Is he open to going to counselling to work through our problems (if we need to one day)? Am i?
- If what i have now is exactly what he'll always be - and nothing more - will i be content with him in the long-term?
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