6 signs you're going to make it

by Tracy Cox
So you’ve been together for a year or so, thinking of maybe taking it further - but a bit nervous about proceeding, given the dreadful divorce stats? This checklist might help. These are signs you’re in a good place and very likely to be happy long term.

1. You feel closer after arguments. You might feel raw and exhausted, but you’ve managed to talk things through rationally and come up with a solution that suits both of you.
2. Jealousy isn’t a problem. You should become less jealous, the longer you’re together. Instead of losing it and storming out or trying to get even by flirting with someone else, you confess jealous feelings and allow yourself to be reassured.
3. If you’re not sure how to take something they’ve said, you go with the positive interpretation. If your partner says something that could be misconstrued, you’ll put the best possible light on it and ask if that’s what they meant. If they say ‘I don’t feel like sex’, you think ‘They must be tired’, not ‘They don’t fancy me anymore!’
4. You accept your differences. We all see the world differently, though a different filter. If you truly accept each other, you’ll allow for differences. Important issues are worth fighting over, trivial differences aren’t.
5. You don’t change to suit each other, you work with each other. You’re both aware of each other’s bottom line - what they will and won’t put up with - but you allow each other to be individuals. You don’t compromise yourselves but you are prepared to put their needs before your own occasionally.
6. You both feel you’re getting a fair deal from the relationship. Ask yourself this: Who’s getting the best deal from this relationship: me or my partner? Are they getting much more out of it than you or vice versa? You’re on the right track when you can honestly answer, ‘It’s pretty much equal’.